my body is so confused about what it’s supposed to be doing that a medication that is supposed to raise your blood pressure significantly lowers mine like wow you are a v confused baby aren’t you
The Real Smith & Jones: Happy family by day, fighting for the Earth by night.
you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face
Do you think every president goes through an awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?
i got 99 problems and probably about 94 of them come from my lack of motivation to do anything
"you and your embarrassing crushes on fictional people"
i have embarrassing crushes on real people too
aries- good for ramming into things i suppose
taurus- ok i guess
cancer- extra bad
libra- sometimes they ok but tbh dont waste ur time….
but imagine if we had tiny little dragons
the size of puppies
and they would go wherever we went sitting on our shoulders and hissing at everyone who tried to touch you because you’re their most special thing in the universe and they are so tiny it’s ridiculously cute
the fact that this post has more notes than i ever expected makes me really glad
my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”
i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone
I’m pretty ace at makeup, I have very varied taste in music so I never really get bored with it, when I have time to read I binge read like nobody’s business and knock out at least a book a day, my hair color is pretty fab, I’m unapologetically terrible at art but still love it.
"What’s up? Been a minute since we kicked it
You’ve been caught up with them bitches
I don’t get it, you’re a star love
You shouldn’t have to deal with that
I’ll never make you feel like that
Cause I love me, I love me enough for the both of us
That’s why you trust me, I know you been through more than most of us
So what are you, what are you, what are you so afraid of?
Darling you, you give but you cannot take love”
From Time (ft. Jhene Aiko) - Drake